I recently started to see a grief counselor through that wonderful organization hospice. They follow up with you and any family member for 13 months after the death of your loved one. This company has quite an amazing process in place. I just can’t seem to get a grip on my emotions and for a generally happy person, this constant on the verge of tears is really getting old.
Two things that this counselor said really hit home for me and help to put some things into perspective.
#1 – Give yourself grace for space and be kind to yourself. This sounds so simple yet it really is something to chant in my head. There is so much to get done that it’s overwhelming. I need to remember to just do a little each day and eventually it will all be done. It doesn’t need to happen in a month.
#2 – No matter what age you lose your spouse at it’s traumatic. The intensity is still the same. I’m not sure why this hit me but it made me take a step back and say “Oh.” Whether Chris passed now or in the 5-10 years that we thought we had, it would have still felt the same intensity.
So these two things I will take with me into this week as I try to start the process of cleaning out Chris’s dresser and closet. Again, I would rather have my old life back where I’m getting on him for not putting his dirty clothes in the hamper. Or having to turn all his shirts right side out because of the way he removed them. Gosh, I would do anything to have those days back again. But I can’t… so I keep moving forward. Towards what, I have not figured out yet. Only to keep moving.
Oh, that’s Great that you are seeing a Grief Counselor to help you thru the process. Hospice is truly an Awesome organization. My Mom is still on it and they are truly amazing in all they offer and all the tips they have. It’s also Great that they are able to give you information that you feel is helpful to you and easy for you to embrace. It may not seem like it, but you are doing so well. Instead of crawling in bed, in a deep depression and refusing to crawl out, you are taking your strides forward and finding a way to get done, the things you really don’t want to, but you are. As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers and I know you’ve heard this a million times, but if you need anything, just let us know.
So glad that you are doing that. Hospice is a wonderful organization.
You are not alone Kellie. For no reason at all I cried Sunday more than any day yet.. It’s all part of the process of getting to acceptance. All the movement will not be forward. There will be setbacks, but over time they will happen less. Chris was not the only amazing Simmons. You are equally impressive with your million dollar smile and eyes that shine like diamonds. God doesn’t give us anything that we cannot handle. One day at a time.
Glad you are using Hospice services. Always better to talk to someone who you can cry or scream in front of who doesn’t have that personal attachment to Chris. You’re making your strides in your time. Take care of you!! ❤️