Today Chris slept until his nurse came at 11:00. I gave a little nudge to let him know it was time to wake up. He squints one eye open and said, “What the hell, I’m not dead yet!” True to Chris form he told the nurse “Maybe we need to re-think this. Maybe I need to be going down a different path?” Our nurse who is beyond wonderful and compassionate let Chris know that she could see why he thought that. Rather than shooting him down, she placed a call to our oncologist and the hospice doctor to address Chris’s question. Our oncologist (who’s pretty amazing himself) knows Chris is a straight shooter, gave him all the medical reason’s he’s on this path. But offered to do another lab work up for him.
The hospice doctor did a home visit and sat to talk with Chris about his question. He pointed out that because he’s a young man and other than cancer he’s healthy, so his body is trying to fight and correct itself. But because his kidneys, bowls, and liver are shutting down, it’s too much for the body to correct. We could start kidney dialysis or try to find the blockage that is causing him to throw up every day, but it would be to buy him a few extra weeks and the weeks would look like this week. Anyone that knows Chris, knows that he is one to not even take a nap… ever. This lying in bed doing nothing because he doesn’t have the strength or energy is what’s driving him crazy.
We have to stay thankful and look at the positive – otherwise, you can turn bitter quick and that is not who we want to be. We are thankful that we have been surrounded by such caring and compassionate medical providers. We have in our opinion the best hospice team ever. But most of all, how many people get to be at their home, pain-free and most likely in their sleep when it’s time for their next journey to begin? Because we have had this time together to start our morning and to begin to accept what will be (not that it won’t be hard as hell) all three of us have said we are ready. I do believe there is comfort in that.
So to end with 2 positives because we need some.
The first, today Preston and I made the arrangments for Chris’s Life Celebration Party… and all we have to say is it’s going to be in true Chris style. Preston said, “This is how Dad would want it.” Really I was just the ride – Preston came with his notebook and already had it planned. He just wanted to make sure the place could carry it out. We’ll post said party when the time is right.
Second, our hospice nurse is getting to know and understand how Chris the never-ending host is going to always ask her how she is, can he get her anything, or sorry dear for making something more work. She is amazed that in his condition he will ask about or concerned about her well being. So today when she said goodbye, Chris waved and said “Goodbye Baby Doll.” I think she actually blushed and said that was a first for her.
Kellie you write so beautifully.
You are going through so much yet find the beauty in moments….how very special. They will be the memories you can hold onto and cherish.
Sending hugs and thoughts of strength and love your way.
Chris, genuinely the most hospitable man I’ve ever met. So incredibly welcoming us into your home, your cottage, your life. Well sir, you’ve forever made a home in our hearts. We think of you often, sending all our light and love -the Russeys
As hard as this is, I am so proud of all of you for keeping such positive outlook that you can even make jokes and wisecracks. Love you all so much.
Just love Preston…what a wonderful son and a testament to his love for his father. Preston is undoubtedly a shining legacy of all that Chris lives and models. What a beautiful family. God bless you all as you travel this road together.
Chris, Kellie, and Preston,
You are the most amazing family unit I have every meant. Your love, strength and bravery is so admired by all that know you. We are so blessed to call you our very dear friends. Kellie thank you so much for sharing this journey with us, it is very generous of you. Even in the mist of all this sadness Chris still makes me giggle when you write about his day and some of the things he says. We love you all! 🙂
Ok I was drinking root beer and spit it all over myself in laughter when I read the part where Chris opened one eye and said, “ hell in not dead yet?” I pray to God every night to give Chris just one more day and I think it’s the only time my prayers have been answered. It sounds like Preston is following in his fathers footsteps with planning affairs. I remember how Chris took part in planning for us girls to be able to go out for the day and even babysat! Just wait until all of those angels are forced to drink his black man specials! Lol Love you guys.
I was reflecting on all of this and it dawned on me that this hospice nurse is seeing a lot of things for the first time with Chris. It’s just like him to leave that kind of impression on everyone he meets. But the coolest part is that I am sure he she will share stories about him with many of her future patients. Just another way his legacy is going to live on through people he will never even meet. ❤️
Thank you Kellie for letting is know about your days with your beloved. Your words allow us to be present and to share the incredibly precious moments you have as a family. I am and we all are carrying you in our love.
I like being included in this journey, so kind! Amazing!
Kelly, you write very well. I appreciate your post.
That man is a hoot!! Just like him to worry about everyone else. Nice to hear Preston is following in his footsteps, he can help plan our summer parties. Somehow your writing seems more peaceful, maybe because of these precious days to talk and spend valuable time with each other. Love you all. ❤️
Chris is an amazing man and you are blessed with a strong loving family. Chris will always remain with you, in your heart. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.. May Gods peace be with you all.
Love
Marsha
Ma’am – my name is Gautham and I am from India. I have had the honour of working in Chris’s team for almost 5 years. It will probably take hours to explain what a beautiful human and a great leader Chris is. So, I just want to say we all (entire team from India) love him – we really do, such is the man. Though we have never met him in person – but he has touched all our hearts through his kind ways. He and his family will always be a part of our prayers.
Please convey our love and prayers to Chris. Thank you ma’am.
That meant so much to him -more than you will know. Thank you Gautham!
Your attitude for this journey that you are on is amazing. I am praying for you and Preston as you all bond to make Chris transition a Chris style party. I truly understand your situation. Reading your comments make me think about my sisters transition. However, I was not the trooper with the strength that you all share. Be blessed and know that other share in your life changing experience.