It’s hard to believe that you’ve been gone a little over 2 weeks. A big part of me wishes I could jump ahead to it being 2 years, with the hope that this empty pain will be over or at least bearable. I had to change another household bill over to my information bringing yet […]
Toothbrush and Bank Account
This morning as I brushed my teeth, I started to look around our bathroom. So many things remind me of you. Some items I cannot bear the thought of getting rid of or changing. Like your work desk that has an obscene amount of monitors on it and your jacket still hanging over your chair. […]
A Meltdown
I started this blog to help update friends and family on my guy. In return, I realized that it turned into a great outlet for me to deflate my emotions. So tonight, I’ll give it a try again, as I’m having a meltdown and the tears won’t stop rolling. Last night, I had to change […]
A Big Thank you!
I’m not sure if anyone is still checking in here, but if so, I wanted to give an enormous thank you shout out to all of you that took the time out of your Saturday afternoon to celebrate Chris’s life with us. WOW! What a party it was. I truly believe that Chris was there […]
Celebration of Life Party for Christopher
I’m so sorry for the delay in posting here. Yesterday was one of my roughest ever and today is not much better. When I woke yesterday, I literally could not breathe and had to step outside. When I stepped back in my breath went away again, I realized it was all the “stuff” and equipment that […]
Saturday – He’s Gone
He’s gone. My adventuresome, wildly handsome, incredibly intelligent and equally stubborn husband who was my best friend has moved onto his next adventure at 11:15 pm. Heaven hold onto your hats. Obviously, I have never been through an experience like this. I had no idea what to expect. But I have to be honest, it was SO peaceful. […]
Friday – still hanging in
I’m going to make it short tonight (I think) as I am one tired cookie, it was a looong night. Chris started his day at 7:00 AM with wanting to sit up and still had some control over his arms and hands. He had very minimal strength to sit up today and was so frustrated with me that […]
Thursday – Hard news to hear
Today we received the news that we knew was coming but never wanted to hear. Hospice said Chris has moved into the “Actively Dying” stage. They are estimating 24 – 48 hours. 24-48 hours to hold his hand or rub that head that was bald for so many years now full of soft hair. 24-48 […]
Wednesday – We’re here
Today was a day of challenges but we didn’t give up! For the past 2 days, Chris has been dealing with this Terminal Restlessness Syndrome as the nurse calls it. It causes him to be so irritated and nothing gets him comfortable. He moves continuously, even when you think he’s sleeping and he’s up every 2 […]
Thankful Tuesday
I sit here and think about what to share, what to keep private for Chris’s respect and what to be thankful for. So tonight I decided to share how thankful I am for all of you. My heart is so overwhelmed with the amount of caring and support you all have shown. This morning I […]
Monday – 2 weeks
I considered not to post today as I’m struggling to be thankful and positive for anything. But I know there are dear friends and family that would be worried if I didn’t. This morning, Chris woke and was a bit confused this morning. Throughout the day his confusion would come and go but he was […]
Sunday – We made the Superbowl
Preston got his wish. That his dad would be able to see the Superbowl one last time. Even though it was from his hospice bed in the living room and we had to wake him up for the game and at halftime and at the end of the game… lol he saw the main parts. […]
Saturday – just Saturday
Not much to update on. In a way that’s good. It was just an ordinary Saturday in our new norm. The highlight was Chris eating about 6 Cheerios and keeping them down. I asked how they tasted and he said what do you think as he was humming while he chewed. Anyone who has ever shared […]
Friday – Things just got real
Another Friday has passed – that makes 2 if you are counting. When we thought we wouldn’t see one. In some ways, it’s getting easier. We’ve settled into a new norm, Chris is down to only taking his “itchy” pill (high liver enzymes cause itching) and nighttime sleeping pills. No pain pills, no water pills, no […]
Thursday – Ground Hog Day
I think I’m living that movie Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray. Hey, I know all of you have felt this way from time to time. It was mostly the same as yesterday with the except that Chris started his 1/2 hour to an hour a day working with the person that is taking over […]
Wednesday – Slight Meltdown
Well, here we are again. Not much excitement today. I was able to sneak out for a few hours while Chris napped to do some errands. It felt so odd, mainly because as I looked around, I realized the world does not stop…even if yours is falling apart. I mostly give you all the G version, out […]